The term thought defusion comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and it is a mindfulness practice, as it helps you learn to observe, make space for, and let go of strong thoughts and emotions without getting hooked into them.

When a harmful core belief or an attachment wound is triggered, the nervous system reacts in its characteristic way, going into hyper- (fight/flight) or hypo- (freeze/fawn) arousal, and our physiology, thoughts and emotions swirl together in a feedback loop of increasing intensity.

When we reach a certain threshold of activation, the frontal lobe, the part of the brain responsible for reason, logic and higher-order thinking, literally goes offline as the nervous system goes into survival mode. In this state, thoughts feel very real and very true, even if it is a conclusion we have jumped to, the brain treats it as a real external threat.

Struggling with thoughts tends to make them stronger and more intrusive, and struggling with emotions tends to just compound them; feeling anxious about anxiety, feeling stressed about stress, with other emotions like guilt, shame and self-loathing piling on as well.

This only serves to strengthen the harmful core beliefs, and reinforces the stories that are attached to them. Stories like, “I’ll never find love. I’m too emotional, too needy. As soon as I let my guard down and show the real me, people leave”. These stories constantly influence how we perceive, interpret, and respond to situations, and in triggering circumstances they can influence us to behave in self-sabotaging ways.

Learning how to detach from and observe your internal experience is an absolute superpower that allows you to feel and acknowledge and make space for emotions, while also working to understand and heal your triggers. This is hugely beneficial for the nervous system, as you will be able to feel and process a wider range of emotions without becoming dysregulated.

It also changes the relationship you have with your mind, you become the captain of the ship rather than just a passenger, and you can skillfully navigate stormy weather rather than being at its mercy.

What is Thought Defusion and How Does it Help?

Thoughts on Thoughts

Thoughts pop in and out of our heads all the time, some are useful, some are not. The way that thoughts and feelings and physiology interact makes strong thoughts feel very real and true, even if it’s just our emotionally triggered interpretation.

Thoughts can come from different parts of us, be influenced by external discourse, or follow well-worn scripts.

When we attach a strong judgement to a thought, “this is a bad thought”, it can become compulsive and intrusive because of the way the brain is geared towards threat detection. The brain loves to ruminate on something that it perceives as a threat, it feels like it is being constructive when really it is just looping and escalating.

Understanding this is an important first step in shifting your relationship with your thoughts, your inner monologue is not an omniscient narrator, and you can be more intentional about choosing what thoughts you want to entertain when you access the observing self.

The Observing Self

The observing self is the part that perceives without judgement or interpretation, it is pure awareness. To access it, ask yourself, “What will my next thought be?”, and it is that state of being still, alert and open.

You can train the ability to hold this state like a muscle, and I highly recommend it. While you do your daily tasks, washing dishes, eating food, brushing your teeth, practice being in the observing self, engaged with all your senses. The mind will wander but just notice without reprimand and bring it back. Maintaining non-judgement is equally as important as holding awareness. Practicing this frequently will make it easier to do in an emotionally charged situation.

Thought Defusion Techniques

Metaphor Creation

Connecting with a metaphor that illustrates the distinction between the observing self and your thoughts is very helpful. My favorite is to be the sky and not the weather. The sky just is, in its vastness, regardless of what weather plays out in its different parts. If you notice that you are being the storm, just zoom out to where you are simply sky, containing the storm.

Or you can visualize your thoughts as leaves floating by on a stream, or trash blowing in the wind, or whatever resonates with you.

Mental Appreciation

All your mind is trying to do is help and protect you, you can imagine it as an over-eager health and safety officer and say, “Thanks brain, that’s not an immediate concern but I’ll note it!”

Name It

Does this thought come from a core belief or a familiar story or pattern? If so name it, like, “I’m playing the everybody secretly hates me story”, or, “I am doing that thing where I keep jumping to conclusions and getting upset by them”, or "Suddenly my inner critic has a lot to say".

Cinema Screen

If your thoughts are very graphic and visual, observe them as though played out on a cinema screen. Move to sit further and further back, distort the image, play with the volume, fast forward and rewind it, be playful with it.

Inner Voice

If you have a strong inner voice that narrates your thoughts, try playing with the voice. Slow it right down, speed it up, make it sound goofy or bored.

The Stranger

Treat the thought like a stranger who is trying to get your attention, but you don’t want to engage with them. You can acknowledge them, be blankly polite, and then move on.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Thought defusion is an incredibly useful skill, but it does require training. Fortunately it’s something you can have fun with, and indeed playfulness is very helpful, as it further distances you from the distressing emotional content of the thoughts. The more you practice it in your day to day life, the more useful it will be to you in a distressing situation.

It doesn't just make thoughts disappear, they will keep popping back, but you can learn to calmly notice and release them without judgement, rather than struggle with or get carried away by them. This greatly lessens their intensity and the accompanying emotional load.

This means that when a harmful core belief or attachment wound is triggered, you can observe your internal process, sit with it without it escalating or prompting you into triggered behavior, and effectively respond rather than knee-jerk react.